Monday, February 15, 2010

Majora's Mask of the Zelda series was probably named after a girls naughty bits.

I AM BACK AFTER A WEEKEND OF FUN AND BLISS, POOMSOSA!

I know, I know. You are all thrilled that I am updating again. Give me a minute to bask in your praise and adoration.

Okay. Moment over.

So stuff that has happened in my life recently:

1. I still have not heard about call backs. It is driving me up a wall.
2. I decided to start exercising because it is kind a good thing. All I have to say about this is "FUCKING OUCH!"
3. OLYMPICS ARE ON! YAYAYAYAYAY! I <3 Figure Skating and Downhill Snow Boarding
4. I got the second webcomic up. I linked it in the previous sentence. Also,  I am pretty sure this is going to be a once a week venture until I get faster/better at drawing.

I think that is just about all that is going on of importance of my life right now.Woohoo.

So now back to serious business. The other day I was watching my television, and I see this commercial for a birth control pill. Now normally I just ignore these ads because I hate commercials, but this one was different. It was special....

education. 

Yeah. So basically the premise of this ad (other than BUY THIS BIRTH CONTROL KTHX) was that it would stop you from having a needless period. It basically posited that periods are pointless and have no purpose.

CAN I GET AN AMEN FROM ALL THE LADIES IN THE ROOM BECAUSE THIS STATEMENT IS ENTIRELY TRUE GAIS! ALL PERIODS DO IS MAKE YOU VULNERABLE TO CREATING DEMON SPAWN AND GETTING PREGGERS.

This is completely true. I once heard this girl decided not to take period blocking birth control, and her uterine lining turned into duck fetuses....fetii.. fetusi?..... I have no idea what the plural of fetus is, but the point is that this girl had a uterus made of immature duck babies. Yeah. ALSO, her labia majora turned into calcium carbonate eggs. So basically her entire reproductive tract was a duck egg. And instead of getting yeast infections, she got yolk infections, which is gross be cause albumin has no business being in a human vagina ever.

Also, sex was out of question for her because eggs are fragile. This gives a whole new meaning to "smashing"  a girl.

Smashing means having sex with, for anyone who does not know. Because I did not, and I had to look it up on Urban Dictionary, which was a mistake because that place is almost as bad as 4chan.

Oh. Ashleigh and I were wondering if the Zelda game Majora's Mask was named after the Labia Majora. Because Zelda is totally a vagina like that, if you catch my drift (think four letter offensive term for vagina starting with a C). If anyone has an answer to this question, please let me know.

Alright, alright, alright, IN ALL SERIOUSNESS: I would like to point out/rant that THEIR CLAIMS ARE NOT TRUE. As annoying/painful as having a period might seem, they are a necessary part of a woman's body/life/metabolic cycle. I am completely serious for once in this blog/my life. If a woman does not have her period for long enough, her hormone cycle gets messed up, and it can lead to cancer, anemia, etc. Also, if this trend continues for too long it severely effects bone density and increases the chance of severe osteoporosis more than ten fold.

 I have a definite problem with this commercial saying that a woman does not need her period, and I think the FDA needs to make them quit that.

So yeah. Serious moment.

Oh, did I mention that not having a period turns your uterine lining into live duck fetuses? Yeah. That is totally a scientific fact.

Alright. SRS BZNS over.

I am not very funny today. My apologies.

2 comments:

Eric W said...

Save for the gaping hole in your amber-avatar's face, much much much better second comic!

Shakes McGee said...

It was only one fetus and you said you wouldn't tell anyone!

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