Thursday, February 4, 2010

I do not know why my roomate just said "I am totally putting that in my vagina" but I am kind of frightened.

Okay. So I am getting a lot better at updating. I think this is the fourth day in a row that I have updated consistently.Admiration and praise is acceptable and expected.

Go head, I will wait.

So anyway, I think that today's blog is going to be all about my  two of my room mates and how horrible/amazing they are. I am only focusing on two today because my third roomate (and BESTIE), Ashleigh, deserves a whole post to herself. That is how terrible/awesome she is.

Okay, so I am going to start with Wendy.


I do not know her very well. What I do know is that she is from China and is basically terrified of me. Mostly because one day she walked into the apartment in mid-rant as I was screaming "IF YOU DO NOT STOP MESSAGING ME I WILL CUT YOUR TOES OFF AND FEED THEM TO A DEAD BEAVER."

....Yeah. That was one of my finer moments.

Anyway, her claim to fame in the apartment is making Chinese food and randomly popping in and out. We do not see her much. I think that is mostly my fault.

Also, I totally told her I needed her picture for a class project because I did not know how to explain why I needed it for my blog. I might be a terrible person. And by might I mean I am.
Then we have KRB. She asked me to disguise her picture because she did not want to be associated with my blog. I cannot say I blame her.

OH WAIT YES I CAN.

Right, Here she is:
 

Yeah. KRB is pretty epic. When she is not preaching at me about being a better person, or not swearing...or whatever. I remember this one time I was asking her to share her blanket with me because I was cold, and she thought I was just being an idiot and harassing her, so when I tried to take part of the blanket she totally clawed my arm to shreds. True.Story. 
Then I sprayed her with a water bottle (that part is not true. I totally shrieked like a little girl and rolled around on the floor)


FUCK ASHLEIGH JUST TOOK MY PICTURE AND NOW ALL I CAN SEE ARE SPOTS. She also ran in and yelled "I AM THE ULTIMATE MUFF DIVER" 

I think I might kill her. FUCKING SPOTS. AUGH.

And no, I do not mean fucking spots literally. That would be difficult, as the only reason I am seeing them is because of my retina, and I am pretty sure my retina and vagina will NEVER come into physical contact. 
Except now that I said that some serial killer is going to come and rip my eye out and then shove it into my vagina. DAMMIT. 

......Right.

Back to KRB. 

So basically she is pretty hilarious, but is a muuuuuch better person than me. No joke. She swears exactly once a month, goes to church every Sunday,  and all sorts of good stuff. But then she will come out with random racist jokes and Ashleigh and I would be like "O.O WHAT THE HELL BAHAHAHAHA"

So yeah. I do not really have much else to say about her. Well, I do but I need to hurry up and finish this because I have a test, a quiz, and homework due tomorrow, AND I need to finish grading papers, AND I need to go grocery shopping.

Do not DARE judge me POOMSOSA. 

Hold on. My roomate just told me that I could not share a fork with her because I have gonorrhea. Apparently she is under the misconception that I use my vagina to hold eating utensils. Again with the whole face and vagina never meeting. Ugh. GET IT RIGHT PEOPLE.


Okay. So Random update time before I finish grading papers:

1. Ashtard (BESTIE) and I have a SUPER AWESOME HAND SHAKE .You should all go check it out.
2. I have a prelim sketch of the "theme" picture for my webcomic preliminarily finished. I am including it below. 
3. I think Ashtard just tried to nom on my charger while it was connected to the wall. I am confused. She may or may not be on drugs.

4. I have an audition on Sunday. I hope it goes well.

5. Apparently Ashtard also has dysentery and wants a carbonite cake of Han Solo to celebrate her divorce.

2 comments:

Shakes McGee said...

How do you find you connect with someone who only cusses once a month? Is it related to her period? I bet it is. You should totally track that shit, except maybe you might have another roommate who wouldn't want to hang out with you anymore.

Hmm, I can tell this is going to be a huge ass comment, but I have been quarantined so long I have lost the ability to socially connect correctly.

I already love your comic. Please finish that up!

And you might want to take Ashleigh off of any sugar products. Except she sounds fanfuckingtastic the way she is so maybe you should try more sugar and then take her grocery shopping. I guarantee you will not be disappointed .

Also I just found out that Modzila is not spell checking these comments and I rely too heavily on that so I may think I am communicating but really I am just saying, yoo arh sooper kool. Did I mention I have mono? Excused!

Amilayne said...

You better not get too rusty on Our super awesome handshake!

I need a new web comic to read, btw, so hurry up ^^

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