Thursday, January 14, 2010

I have discovered a purpose for allergies

Actual quote from two seconds ago: "My cussing is getting so much fucking better guys." Yeah. Any progress I made up until this point just flew out the window.
Also, I swear I just heard Ashleigh just say "Amber can I use your feces." She insists that she said "Amber can I use your tweezers?" but given her disposition toward saying random things, I think I am right.
Hahah. Right.
So, school started again, and we are almost one week in. If you want a reason for why I have not updated for eight plus days, then there you go. I have definitely been running around like a headless horseman (HAHA I BET YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY HEADLESS CHICKEN RIGHT? GOTCHA!) trying to get everything sorted out and settled. Wooo. I love the beginning of the semester.

That was a lie. Bad me.

Right. So. I think the chaos and stress of the beginning of the semester, along with other more personal things have caused my fragile hold on sanity to snap. (If you just thought "Hey Amber, you had no grasp on sanity in the first place”, I am going to cut your head off POOMSOSA).

The other night I had this crazy dream that there was this crazy zombie cat that killed me. Except these people cast a Phoenix Down on me (I know, I know, I am a major game geek), and since I had been killed once, I was immune to its poison so they were like "Kill it or we will kill you". So I went through the whole dream battling this demon cat. I kept killing it, but because it was a cat it had nine lives, except since it was a zombie it had OVER 9000 lives. Yes. Vegeta really told me that in my dream (Also LOL MS Word’s spelling suggestion for Vegeta is Vegetate. New nick name? I think so). So I keep killing it, and someone videos it and shows /b/ from 4chan. And they get all up in arms and try to get me arrested because I they are awesome and have that kind of power, and also do not know that this cat will threaten all of humanity and destroy the internet (I know, this is all insane and geeky).
Right. So definitely I finally manage to reduce this cat to a small part of its head and a little scrap of its skin, so we think it is dead, but then the scraps TRY AND RIP OUT MY SPINE, except I had a flame thrower and flamed myself in the back and yelled “FLAME ON BITCH”, and that was the end of the evil zombie cat from hell. Except then another one showed up, so the first thing I did was rip out fangs so that it could not poison anyone, but it turned out that this cat was a magical wish granting cat that was coming to give me a bunch of wishes because I defeated its evil brother. I did not get the wishes because I hurt it, and also its magical powers spawned from its fangs.
I definitely woke up screaming “CURSE YOU IMPULSE VIOLENCE” really loud.
So yeah.
Can you IMAGINE what would happen if there was an evil zombie cat? I cringe at the thought. Cats are smart, and cunning, AND EVIL. They would infect their brethren and then take over the world, which would suck if they enslaved me because I am totally allergic to cats.
Seriously POOMSOSA! If these cats started to converge on other cats and humans, we could form task forces against them and ALLERGIES WOULD HAVE A PURPOSE OTHER THAN TORTURE.

Freaking yes.


_pąŗadoxㄨx said...


I swear I will go to bed and dream about zombie cats.

I think I'd hate zombie spiders more though..

Giant zombie spiders...

- cringe -

Subatomic Tomato said...

Maybe the zombie cats will teach you who HAN SOLO is so you can actually spell his name right. *Grump*

Jennifer said...

Seriously, LOVE YOU. I don't know it what order you may or may not get these comments so this may or may not make sense. But, in my mono induced bed rest, I also pulled out Final Fantasy to play. That may or may not make sense based on whether you read my other comment first.

The best part is now that I have found your blog, I can now spend time enjoying myself by reading your past blogs. I don't usually comment. In fact, I believe this is my 5th comment of all time. I prefer to lurk. But, I had to say thanks for making my 41st day in bed less of a my-head-is-going-to-explode-from-boredom-day to a yay-i'm-so-glad-i-have-massive-amounts-of-time-to-explore-this-blog-day!

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