Monday, January 18, 2010

2012 will really happen when China gets addicted to chocolate.

Stupidest Idea Ever . Go ahead, read it POOMSOSA.

Yeah. You read that right. They built an 80 ton replica of the Great Wall of China out of chocolate to ENTICE CHINESE PEOPLE TO BUY MORE CHCOCOLATE.

What the hell. I mean, really, what message are these people sending to the people of China.

"Hey guys. You all do not eat enough chocolate, so we made a replica of one of your oldest and most beloved monuments out of the stuff. Which basically means you HAVE TO LOVE CHOCOLATE OR YOU DO NOT LOVE THE GREAT WALL WHICH MEANS YOU DO NOT LOVE CHINA. YOU HERITAGE IS IN QUESTION. Diabetic? TOO BAD!"

I can imagine  how well that would go over with the Chinese. Not to mention they used dark chocolate, the WORST KIND.

I honestly do not see the problem with Chinese people not eating an abundance of chocolate. I mean, really. Too much chocolate can lead to an increase of sugar-related diseases and stuff, and I do not think China wants that either.

OH! And then there was the part about chocolate being as common in the West as fruit or milk.

I would like to know what western consumer in their right mind is all "Okay. Shopping list time. Let me start with the essentials: milk, cheese, bread, chocolate, fruit, butter..".

If you are that person, I will cut your head off because clearly something is wrong with you.

CHOCOLATE IS A LUXURY AN OCCASIONALLY A NEEDED BAKING GOOD. IT IS NOT A STAPLE EVEN IF YOU ARE WOMAN IN MID-MENSTRUAL CYCLE.

GAH. I mean people can get addicted to that stuff. Some people even become all zombie-esque and stuff.

Oh.My.God.

WHAT IF THE ENTIRE NATION OF CHINA GOT ADDICTED TO CHINA AND THEN TURNED INTO ZOMBIES?!?!

NOOOOOOOOOO!

China has BILLIONS of people. Shit. This is the beginning of 2012 guys. It is not a tectonic event. It is a zombie apocalypse.

Excuse me while I got destroy every bit of chocolate in my house. It is not much, but it is something.

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