Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Well of course not



Well, of course not.

Honestly.If I were a ninja I wouldn't be able to be found on the internet either people. The entire premise of being a ninja is that you are stealthy enough to kill people and not get killed yourself. It isn't like we're talking about James Bond or something.

So I don't really have much to talk about in this blog post. I just thought that the fact that www.iamaninja.com cannot be found was ironic.

In other news, I REALLY want an adorable Raptor plushie/stuffed animal. And yes, it has to be ADORABLE. If I can't find an adorable Raptor plushie/stuffed animal, I will settle for a similar looking dinosaur.

Also, T-Rex babies are freaking adorable. They would be acceptable too.


WANT!

To end this post, I'm going to leave you all with a list of words I think are bad ass:

Lipid
Rancid
Shenanigans
Tracheotomy
Ligand
Cupric
Ephemeral
Bamboozled
Mongoloid
Zimbabwean
Affidavit

There are probably more,but I can't really think because it feels like someone is pouring acid down my throat.

If you even think about arguing with me about how that was a ridiculous statement because my throat and my capacity to think are not connected, I will cut your head off.

AH! I went so many posts without threatening to cut your heads off too, POOMSOSA. Why do you make me theoretically hurt you?

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Tortilla Chips Are LIARS!



First of all: HOLY SHIT! THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME CAR I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE I WAAAAAAAAANT IT!
Okay, now that my fangirl urges are over, let's talk about life.

As most of you do not know, I have a SECRET FAMILY RECIPE for salsa--- I need to interrupt myself here and say that there is definitely something very wrong with me because I just got upset that a talking golden retriever didn't come bounding into the room when I typed SECRET FAMILY RECIPE. Or is it TV's fault for conditioning me to think that all Golden Retrievers can A) Talk and B) Plot to steal my SECRET FAMILY RECIPE. Damn, it didn't work again. I'm like Pavlov's dogs except I'm not a dog, and TV isn't a sentient being masterminding an experiment.

Or is it? AHHHHHHH! WHAT IF TV IS CONTROLLING MY ANDROID FRIENDS? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I think I need medicine. Right. Now that I'm done hyperventilating, I have serious business to talk about.

I am taking Tia Rosa Tortilla chips to court. Well, I don't actually have a lawsuit filed or anything, but its coming soon. Why am I doing this?

EXHIBIT A:



Seriously Tia Rosa, "Tradition you can taste"?

You can't taste tradition. At all. And don't tell me you can, POOMSOSA.

Tradition is a noun, and you can't taste nouns. Morons. FJKLDSAJFLKSAD

I HATE LIARS!

Tradition you can taste....

I call shenanigans. And a lawyer.