Thursday, August 20, 2009

My job performance is suffering because of raptors. Something is wrong with me.

Okay, so I tend to do strange stuff when I get bored, POOMSOSA.

I think this much is apparent.

Don't look at me like I'm on LSD. I told you I'm not. God. If you say I'm on some other drug, I swear I will cut your head off.

Right, so I didn't have much to do tonight for some reason. It was really strange, and also kind of nice. Carrie took me out to eat, and we went to Walmart to get her a lanyard. This should not have been a hard task, but Carrie may or may not have been acting like a two year old, so yeah. What should have taken us ten minutes tops took forty five. Then again, this could have to do with the fact that FIVE WALMART ASSOCIATES LIED TO ME! Seriously. They told me that the lanyards were in the home section, then the gardening section, then the sports section, and a bunch were too lazy to help me look so they were all "I don't know".

I think that's the reason that they are called ASSociates instead of employees.

Haha jerks. Your employer is mocking you.

.....Right.

So yeah, Forty five minutes later we left Walmart lanyard-less, but I did find a totally rockin' plant for three dollars that I named the Eccentric Emperor Leopold, or EEL for short. Yes, I planned it that way. Represent.

So we get home, and Carrie puts on Across the Universe, and blah blah blah, an hour later I'm bored.

So I'm sitting around Facebook surfing, which is totally NOT the same as Facebook stalking, and I come across something about pirates on my friend Rebecca's profile. Which was ironic because she was actually on her way over at this point to bring Carrie something. Haha. Irony.

I'm not certain that was irony, but roll with it POOMSOSA. Right. So I'm reading about pirates, and then I'm all " Pirates are awesome-- I'm really bored. I should do something all craft like. Oooh! I could go all June Cleaver on those sandwich bags-- RAPTORS ARE AWESOME TOO! OH MY GOD! RAPTOR HAND PUPPETS YES! THIS IS A BITCHIN SWEET IDEA!"

So long story short, I made a raptor handpuppet. He is AWESOME. His name is Fuzzalufagus the Supreme Velociraptor Ruler of All.

Also, I was totally supposed to go to a meeting for my peer leader job, but I got so super distracted by making Fuzzalufagus that I totally forgot. Yeah.

Does referring to your best friend as meat puppet make you a bad person?

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