Wednesday, June 10, 2009

My Room is Having Hotflashes

Yeah, yeah yeah. I'm aware that I haven't updated this blog in like ten million years. I've been busy (see: lazy). Kind of.

Don't take that tone of face expression with me.

Seriously. Knock it off. You don't think I can see you, but I can. That may or may not be because I'm secretly a cyberkinetic robot who can tap into your webcam and watch you while you sleep.

You'll never know.

Wow that was creepy. Awesome. *insert evil cackle here*

(Note to self: Cackling evilly out loud really confuses and scares room mates.)

Speaking of rooms, mine is having hot flashes. I really don't know what the deal is, but it's either way too hot or way too cold. Okay, that's not really the definition of a hot flash, but you get the point. There is no in between. I mean, I really don't know what to do POOMSOSA. Yesterday I walked in and everything was covered in ice. Tiny eskimos were smoking giant salmon they'd caught, and a penguin was sliding down an ice embankment. Apparently the room thought it was appropriate to turn into I don't know... THE FREAKING ICE AGE!

So here is how that conversation went down:

Me: ROOOOM! I'm home--- WHAT THE?!?!
Room: Oh hello darling I did a little interior decorating! Isn't it spendid?
Me: *stares in absolute shock*
Room: Well don't you like it?
Me: ROOOOM! You've got some 'splainin to do!

....Don't judge me. Acting like Ricky Ricardo can help you put your foot down in any situation. I won the argument, and my room stopped being too cold. I totally just turned the air to a higher temperature. Then I went to bed because I was tired.

Do you know how scary it is to wake up with a camel licking your face and a scary man in a turban trying to propositioning you with a goat-skin bag of water, and you actually considering taking his offer because you feel like there is no water in your body and your lips feel like they turned into sand?

It's terrifying. How would I know this?

Despite the fact that I put my thermostat on auto and set it to 75, my favorite temperature, IT.WAS.A.DESERT. In my room. Camels and turban swathed merchant people being chased by hardened desert pirates and all.

I still have sand in my bed.

Freaking rooms and their menopausal mid-life crises.


Amilayne said...

You should pity the room. Get it some estrogen supplements (and hope that it doesn't get cancer or something as a result).

Subatomic Tomato said...

That would definitely ruin the whole point of me being all Ricky Ricardo. Where's the fun in that?

Kate said...

"I pity the room!" You could be Mr. T !!! Which is 1.23969385673234 x 10^14 cooler than Ricky Ricardo!

Holli said...

The room just hates you. Its either menopausal or teenaged.

My room just has no AC.

Subatomic Tomato said...

@Kate: *stare* Fail. Ricky Ricardo > Mr. T

@Holli: Yes, yes the room does hate me. And haha. You have no air conditioning. Too bad I couldn't siphon off some of mine to your room when it's going all ice age on me.

Joycie said...

Are you sure you are not the one having the hot flashes with all different moods you are in

Subatomic Tomato said...

@Joycie: LOL. I'm sure. I'm in the prime of my life. Hot flashes wouldn't DARE try and attack me.

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