Thursday, June 18, 2009

I'm not acting superior. You're just a peasant.

Sometimes I want to maim get really annoyed with people who think they are better than me others. Mostly because I know that I'm whoever is being harassed is better than equal to everyone, but apparently no one else does. This is a grave miscalculation that I attempt to get people to correct.

Only, SURPRISE! Most of the time I'm unsuccessful.

This may or may not be because most people have very high and unrealistic opinions of themselves. Before you ask, I don't include myself in that group.

Right. So I'm sure that you're all wondering why I'm rambling about equality and blah blah blah.

Don't worry, POOMSOSA, I'm about to tell you.

The other day I had a discussion with someone who was upset at me. This should not be a surprise. This person told me that I was rather pompous and that I should try being nice because it's the right thing to do, and then read me the riot act (no, I have no idea what the riot act is but I don't really care because I'm sexy and I can do what I want) and how they were such a better person than me and about a bunch of stuff to which I replied:

"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW". Anyone who knows anything about the Internet should be laughing right about now, or shaking their head in shame. Whichever works for you. Equality, remember?

Don't get me wrong POOMSOSA I don't care about other people's feelings. Normally I would have been all "Wow, maybe I'm being totally unreasonable and should evaluate my reasoning in this argument and try to see things from their point of view."

But this argument was not reasonable. Oh no. It was far from it.

This person was arguing with me because I said curling was a stupid sport and shouldn't be in the Olympics.

What. The. Hell.

I mean, I totally understand if you like curling (I refuse to capitalize that word out of principle). You obviously have good reasons.

I won't judge you. I promise.


Okay, that was totally a lie.

I mean, who wouldn't be riveted by a bunch of people throwing some over sized stone at a target and gauging how fast it goes by scraping the ice in front of it with brooms? Seriously, you have to make lightning fast precise decisions about when to scrub the ice and when not to so that you get the stone on the target correctly. Seriously, curling is like the Chess of the ice world! There are even professional ice makers for curling!That shit is hardcore! This video proves it! Do you hear the hardcore music playing in the background do ya? WELL DO YA?"

.......I hope you realize how retarded that just sounded.

( P.S. If you actually do watch the video, there's totally a guy that acts like Tiger Woods when he does something well. It made me lol really hard. I also yelled "Calm down Tiger WOODS!" really loudly with my door open, and someone walked in and was like "What the hell are you talking about?" I was laughing too hard to answer.)

Now that I'm done with my tangent on how stupid I think curling is (yes, I know how the game is played and blah blah blah. I'm not so much of a bigot that I would just judge a game without knowing how it's played), I'll get to the point of this blog.

Well, this blog doesn't really have a point, and I know you don't know this but my "N" key is wigging out, and it's really ticking me off, and if it doesn't stop I'm going to take a flamethrower to my laptop. (Don't worry I'm really not going to. Mostly because I'm too poor to afford a new laptop).


So anyway, this person just went on and on about how I was overly harsh and acted superior all the time.

This made me giggle.

See, the fact is POOMSOSA, I'm not acting superior. You all are just peasants.

Also, I swear that if you look up what my last name means and start telling me about how it's french for "Of the fields" and how that must mean that my ancestors were peasants so I really have no room to be talking, I will give you a surprise tracheotomy.

....That statement just made me giggle again.

Except, it just occurred to me that I really hope no peasants somehow muster up the money/chickens/goats/whatever currency peasants pay in to get on the internet and see this post. God. That would be terrible.

The peasants would be all "RAWR! This noble doesn't care about our well being", and I'd be all "Yeah duh I'm a Feudal Lord, bitch, LOL look at me I'm Marie Antoinette, eat some cake peasants", and then they'd have this giant uprising and I'd be all "OH MY GOD! NEIGHBORING FEUDAL LORDS COME TO MY RESCUE", except there aren't any more feudal lords, so I'd be all by myself. And then the peasants would start chasing after me with pitchforks and other various objects that I don't ever want to be stabbed with and I'd eventually get caught because I can't really run very much, and then I'd be all "This isn't fair! It's not my fault that you don't know how to use modern technology to farm better and get out of poverty," hoping to get out of trouble, except the peasants would be like "Technology? What? SHE'S A WITCH! BURN THE WITCH!". Then they'd definitely have a public burning, except I'm so awesome I would't burn and then I'd look up and see an angel and suddenly turn into Joan of Arc and be remembered forever as the bad ass who got saved from a painful death by an angel.

...Yeah. The hallucinogenic drugs creativity in the air of my room is definitely back.

Also, I have a confession to make.

.....No,I'm not on drugs. You're all jerks for thinking that, POOMSOSA. Don't even pretend that you weren't thinking it.

Right, the confession:

The whole reason I wrote this post is because I wanted to put "I'm not acting superior. You're just a peasant " as a blog title.

LOL Narcissism

Random Statement of the Day:

Fact: "People who are allergic to strawberries should never eat anything with strawberry in it" is a logical argument.

Fact: "People who eat strawberries are stupid because I hate strawberries so they should too" "Girls like guys with a nice ass, not ass crack showing. I'm a reasonable person, you're not. You've been consumed by ACU eggshells and bubble" is not a logical or reasonable argument.


Amilayne said...

I disagree with the illogicality of the first and second parts of your secret fact. And with the oppression of the peasants, they're people too, you know; they have rights.

Kate said...

Lol I think I know who said that

Subatomic Tomato said...

@Amilayne: Psh. Peasants don't have rights. The only right they have is to be hung when they poach my land AKA do anything I don't like.

Except I don't really hang people because that's gross and they might not die.

@Kate:Oh my god. You can't think, you're out of the kitchen! You're brain just exploded! That's what you get for thinking. Way to be.

Unless you have your laptop or desk computer in the kitchen. In which case, props. You have not died of dysentery.

Subatomic Tomato said...

Also: That last comment contained myriad of horrible grammar mistake. GO GO GADGET HACK SAW!

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