Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Conundrum of Every Day Life

I find it interesting how everything bad in life seems to happen at one time. It's like the world wakes up one day and decides its time to show the pitiful humans who live on it who is boss.

World: *Yawns* Man, that was a good rest! OW! Stupid humans building things all over me and getting rid of all my trees! What can I do to stave this off? I KNOW! I'll dump a bunch of bad stuff on one person in hopes that it'll make them stop! Good idea World! Man, you're a thinker today. Yeah! Synergy with myself!

Unfortunate Person of the Day: *wakes up* WOW! It's a beautiful day! The sun is shining-- *is struck by lightning, manages to live, finds out their dog got hit by a car, that they are officially bankrupt, and their wife is leaving them for a hot dog peddler she met during her lunch break*

Yeah..... I'm fairly certain that actually doesn't happen.

In any case, today was one of those days. Actually, it has been one of those three days, but who is counting?

Oh right, I am.

The day before yesterday my phone started acting up. Yesterday I found out one of my friends is moving away. Today.....

Today I found out I was going to be sued for some hospital bill if I didn't pay them in full. Apparently collections agencies think that by suing people, money spontaneously appears in their bank accounts to pay past due bills.

Collections Lawyer: Hey, Bill, ungrateful people aren't paying their bills because they're too poor to do so!

Bill: Well, CL, did you try and set up a payment plan with them?

CL: Yes. I've talked to this ingrate four times, and she keeps telling me that the minimum $50 dollars is too much for her to pay because she has an infant and is a single mother of three. I can't believe the nerve of these people! I just don't know what to do.

Bill: You should definitely sue her. I mean, clearly she is just evading paying her bills. She probably won the lottery the other day and just doesn't want to pay.

CL: GOOD idea Bill. I bet us suing her will make her children not starve when she can't afford food for them!


Okay, that may or may not be a ridiculous representation of a conversation between two collections agency workers.

I'm leaning toward the may not side.

In any case, after three days of pitfalls, I'm a little sick of bad news.

Don't get me wrong POOMSOSA, I'm not going to sit on this blog and QQ about everything that happens to me.

You may think I'm doing so right now, but I'm not.

This post's primary function is to do 2 things:

1. Garner me attention
2. Get the world off my back

So.... here is my letter to the World.

Dear World:

KNOCK IT OFF!

That is all.

Sincerely,

AD

Blah Blah Blah (See: Introductory Post)

It has recently come to my attention that people outside of my sphere of social awareness (see: everyone), POOMSOSA for short, may or may not wish to keep up with my daily shenanigans. Because I enjoy being the center of attention, this phenomenon pleases me. Because writing a blog requires effort that I am usually (see: always) unwilling to expend, this phenomenon displeases me.

Luckily for you my need for attention outweighs my laziness.

So, in an effort to ward off a full blown uprising, I'm going to be an enabler for the POOMSOSA and blog.

I hope you all feel better about yourselves now.

That may or may not be a lie.